i am the queen of eggshells

I don’t mean to be a mean bitch (most of the time), really. I’m a nice person, on the inside (sometimes). I love my family and I would never do anything to hurt them, except that I do.

It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m on fire. The nice person inside me is still there, and wants to tell you it’s alright, I love you and I’m not mad at you and I don’t want to hurt you. It’s just that it’s hard to stay nice and sweet and calm when I am burning.

Sometimes it feels like everything and everyone around me is a giant disgusting cockroach– not that they look that way, or that I really feel that they are, but that’s the closest I can get to describing how it feels when you get too close to me or start talking to me about your day.

With the gross cockroachness and the conflagration, it is very very very difficult to say something as simple as “I’m sorry, I’m not in a good mood right now. Could you give me some space?”

Sometimes it takes all the strength that is in me to turn around and walk away in the middle of your sentence so that I don’t start screaming at you.

So I’m sorry, I really am, and I wish it was different. But telling me to try to be a little nicer will not prevent the flames or keep you from turning into a disgusting cockroach.

When I run away or say something maybe a little rude, it’s only because I’ve burst into flames and I’m trying my best to protect you from getting burned. I’m sorry I can’t do better right now.


who is responsible for your happiness?

I have had a few epiphanies in my life. One of those epiphanies came when I was 22 years old, about six months after I got married. I realized that I had made a mistake—that I needed to leave him. But that wasn’t my epiphany.

My epiphany was that everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

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snopes.com is your friend

funny graphs and charts
(It really bugs me that there is an “e” missing in “absolut[e]ly”. It almost spoils the funniness. Almost.)

I never get email forwards at work anymore.

I used to get several a day. “OMFSM!!1! Don’t use pancake mix or u will die from the moldz!!!!!1” “This poem was written by a 9-year-old girl with cancer!! Forward this email and Bill Gates and a Nigerian prince will donate $1 to her for every person you send it to!!!!1!1” I still find it impossible to understand why people keep sending these. Do they actually believe them? How can anyone that gullible still be alive?

At first I tried to ignore them, but the stupidity was so maddening that I started answering. I answered every single one. Several times a day, I would hit my trusty “Reply to All” button—no, I don’t care that you sent it to half your family; I’ll point your stupidity out to them, too—and explain exactly why whatever you forwarded was highly unlikely, or impossible, and just plain idiotic. In a nice way.

Slowly, the emails stopped, and now my inbox is 100% free of teh stoopid.

I guess these chainmail-perpetuators are just in it for the thrill of hitting the forward button. They don’t really care what the email says or whether or not it’s true. Or maybe they are just superstitious enough to not want to take the chance—however slim or obviously nonexistant—that they will die from pancake mix mold.

origin of the word “sissy”

I was curious about it, so I googled it and found this:

sissy 1846, “sister,” extended form of sis. Meaning “effeminate man” is recorded from 1887; the adj. in this sense is from 1891.

So, calling someone a sissy is calling them “sister”. Why is it so bad for a man to have traditionally “feminine” characteristics?

The only way this could make sense is if being a woman or having “feminine” characteristics is bad. Wrong. Worse than being a man.

It’s only logical. Yet people still don’t see that we live in a sexist society? This is maddening.

There is a woman that I work with who is in my generation. I am 24, she is a very young 30. I like her a lot—she is a good, fun person. But she constantly uses feminine words to belittle men—in a joking, teasing way. Ha ha. So funny. “You sound like a little girl!” “Why are you walking like a woman?” Ha. See how funny that is?

It makes me angry whenever I hear it. But I don’t want to start a Serious Discussion in the middle of work (in the middle of her funny funny joke) about why that is sexist and demeaning to women.

Once, she and another woman were sitting in the break room at work talking. I went in to grab a coffee. They were talking about an ex of hers, and how he had hung out with a friend making s’mores one time. “That’s so gay!” “I would have dumped him for that!” I told them that was sexist and tried to explain, but it was like they just shut me out. Didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to think too hard.

I get this reaction a lot from people, when I want to discuss something, or be serious for a bit, or really think in depth about something. Most people I guess are threatened by that? They don’t want to think too hard. They don’t want their little paradigm to be pushed a little, shifted just a tiny bit. They don’t even want to consider it.

Living like that seems awfully dull and shallow to me.